Every year, one out of five American families move. One of the most important
issues to anyone with kids is their reaction to the news that theyre moving,
and their adjustment to the new home. Being informed is very important to
children. One of the worst mistakes we can make as adults is to assume that kids
dont care or wont understand the details. keeping them "in the loop,"
consulting them about choices whenever possible, and including them in the
family game plan will work wonders toward their adjustment.
Other factors depend on the childs age:
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Preschool Children
Kids under the age of six may worry about being
left behind, or being separated from their parents. If you go on an orientation
or house-hunting trip beforehand without the children, its important to
reassure kids this age that you will be back; bring something unique back to
them from the new town. Its very important for them to express their feelings
and fears about the move. Give them a job to do -- have them be responsible for
boxing up their favorite toys, and "labeling" their boxes with crayons and
stickers.
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Ages 6 to 12
Elementary age kids are usually most concerned with
how the everyday routines of their lives are going to change. Showing them
pictures, videos and magazines of their new home will help a lot, especially if
you can find new places in advance for the things they like to do. If your
children take dance lessons, find and share information about the new dance
studio they can go to. If they take karate, or play soccer...even if their
favorite thing to do is go to the park or the pizza parlor, find these places in
your new neighborhood and get brochures, pictures or videos.
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Teenagers
These kids are most concerned with fitting in. They may
react angrily to the move, even insist theyre not going. This is usually due to
the total lack of control they have over everything important in their lives,
friends, school and jobs, being disrupted. These children can be very worried
about making new friends, and what will be different in the new school. They are
curious about the clothing, hairstyles, bicycles, cars, etc. that kids in the
new city will have. Pictures of all these things are very helpful, so if you
take an orientation trip be sure to take many detailed photos/videos of the
schools they will be attending.
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Other tips for making the transition
- Give young children an entertaining travel kit for the move.
- Give older children a diary for recording the trip and move.
- Give children of all ages a special address book and stationary set for
keeping up with old friends.
- Take videos of the new home if the kids wont get to see it before the move.
Arrive well before the movers so kids can explore and become acquainted first.
- Give children a chore to do, such as working on their room (younger),
supervising little siblings (middle), and painting or arranging furniture (older
kids).
- Take a break with the family as soon as possible to explore the museums,
sights and recreation in your new city.
- Arrange a visit to new schools and a meeting with the teacher before the
actual first day of attendance.
- Encourage the children to bring new friends home.
